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BARTHOLOMEW ROBERTS?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING BARTHOLOMEW ROBERTS GOD DAMN FOOL FLAMINGO PLUME WEARING TEA DRINKING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT CAPTAIN OF THE BIGGEST SHIPWRECK IN THE SEA LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN PIRATE MOTHERFUCKING BARTHOLOMEW ROBERTS

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT BARTHOLOMEW ROBERTS I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHO LET HIM WRITE THE PIRATE CODE WHY DID HE CRASH HIS WHOLE SHIP JUST TO EVADE PRISON IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST BEARD GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said bartholomew roberts waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with bartholomew roberts writing one more word in letter in email not only will i close the tab i will delete my email address out of spite and have to send all of my contacts my new email just to pretend he was never mentioned or alive

i dont even know why i hate him so much. hes an old ass pirate but i am just mad because i am angy

he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of the sea and went too far ill go ham

BETTER have had a shark kill a man cuz if he didnt Im going to make him

paypal.com/IFuckingHateBartholomewRoberts

poster might not even from him. vaguely had sea vibes just some blue maybe waves and I lost it

where the fuck is bartholomew roberts if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt

crusty old man

ill punch bart and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final copy of the pirate code he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in Old English

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when bart died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who has done so many fucked up if true crimes

CRIMES:

- taking ships and demanding ransom from the captain

- burning said ship (idiot could have had two ships)

- burned like at least 20 more ships. did not care if there were people in there

- literally immortal (not me though i prommy)

- destroyed a harbor becasuse some dude named david died

- didn't let me touch the fish at the aquarium

- couldn't design a good pirate flag to save his life

- was really mean to his crew :( (I know through a friend. 's grandpa. great grandpa)

- was a really shit waiter at long john silvers (i now hate long john silvers)